did you get engaged???
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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