How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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