They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
