at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
As shirtless as possible
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
