Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
