I showed him my bush... on skype.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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