It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
