A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
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