I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
