Swine flu is the new snow day.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
