and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
