They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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