Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
