it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
