I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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