I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
