question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
