better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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