so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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