I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Your cock deserves a montage
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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