Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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