Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
