Where are you?
In a non slutty way
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
