Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
