Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
How does one acquire holy water?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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