a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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