"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
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