As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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