Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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