Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
