Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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