He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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