when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
