Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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