Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
