Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
