if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
This is the high leading the old right now
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
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