What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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