I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
