I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize