I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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