So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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