Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
