i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
A+ Viking dick
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
