He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
