his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
