girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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