If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
