Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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