yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
