I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
