I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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