Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
