I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
