Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
