Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I know her cup size but not her name....
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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