There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
