you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
