There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
