I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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