if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
