Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
